I will never tell you
by Prodigy Zero
Summary: “I can finish it myself, thank you Dante.” I stalked out of the room and up stairs as your voice floated up to me, calling for me to come back. I wince again, but this time not from the slowly healing wounds. I lay down in bed to cry myself to sleep.


Devil May Cry

DISCLAIMERNESS!!! I don't own these characters, I do however own the games in which they reside.

NERO POV

It was during our first mission together that I realized my feelings. A frost demon came at me in blinding speed; I was already wounded. A large gash spread itself from my left shoulder to my right hip. No matter how quickly I healed, that would leave a scar. I didn't mind, battle wounds mean nothing to me but courage.

I had no time to dodge and readied myself for the feel of its icy claws to dig into my warm flesh. In a moment of sheer curiosity I opened my eyes to find you darting in front of me. "Nero, run!" The demon slammed in to you instead, talons of ice piercing your shoulder and you cry out in pain. I gather the strength when I see you in danger, and rev the engine of Red Queen to slice through the frost.

It chews through her like a hot knife through butter, and the demon falls to the ground in two pieces. I watch as you tug a sharp piece of ice from your arm and toss it aside. My heart aches suddenly, realizing you are ready to die for me. I would do that for you too, and now I find my breath hitching as you lean on me, skulking back towards home. I have to keep this a secret from you no matter what it costs me.

You'll never know how I feel.

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I sat on the couch after a long day of battle. Torn clothing, massive tear in my left side bleeding and I winced from pain when you returned. There was a worried look in your eyes as you tore off my tattered shirt and wrapped gauze around my torso. "Don't worry," You whispered, not meeting my eyes. "I'll fix you up." With watery eyes, I nodded though you didn't see.

The feel of your calloused hands on my skin was too much to handle and I pushed off the couch before you were done. "I can finish it myself, thank you Dante." I stalked out of the room and up stairs as your voice floated up to me, calling for me to come back. I wince again, but this time not from the slowly healing wounds. I lay down in bed to cry myself to sleep.

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Just days later, we sat in front of the TV as a mindless info-mercial droned on. We were making fun of it but eventually fell quiet. You stretched out, arms along the back of the couch and your right hand rested behind my head. Heat built in my stomach from your close proximity. Oh, how I longed to lean against your side and slide my lips along your skin…

"What's wrong?" You ask, more perceptive than most think you are. I failed to notice my hands in tight fists or my right leg jumping up and down in nervous excitement. I shake my head and feign a smile. You see right through me. "C'mon kid, I know you better than that." Your smile is breathtaking and I hold a breath as your hand comes up behind my head and your fingers lace through my thick hair, softly petting it in comfort. "You can talk to me."

I exhale and sit up straighter, pulling myself away from your warm and welcome touch. It makes me terribly uncomfortable to be touched by you when you don't know what it does to me. "Just thinking about someone…" I mutter quietly, dodging your next question as I run upstairs for a shower.

No, I will never tell you.

My mind is reeling, wondering why your hand was so gentle in my hair as water cascades down my back. I lean against the wall as tears mix with water on my cheeks. I seem to be doing a lot of that lately…crying.

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It's been around a month now and you are having a Halloween Party. Many people are invited, most of whom I don't know so I hang around the ones I do while you're off drinking. I stand with Trish, Lady, and surprisingly enough, Lucia. She managed to make it out here from her long mission in Spain.

They're talking about some demon but I pay no attention, watching you from the corner of my eye as a young girl comes up from behind and rips your shirt in half. You're having fun now, pulling her closer as you dance to the thick beat coming from the stereo system.

I want to dance with you Dante, why can't I dance with you?

"What do you think, Nero?" I am pulled back into the conversation by Lucia and my heart ache seems to disappear for a short moment.

People begin to get rowdy and revert back to some stupid child hood games. "So Dante, truth or dare?" The same girl asks, latching on to your side. I grimace and turn away from the scene though everyone else is staring at you.

"Nero, what's wrong?" Lady asks in a worried tone, finally noticing someone who was definitely not enjoying the party. I shake my head as if to say, "Nothing.". She squints at me intently.

"Like you have to ask," You bark out a short laugh and shout, "Dare!"

A group of people are whispering now, glancing at you. I don't like how they are looking at you. "We dare you to kiss a guy!" You are surprised, but don't look deterred. I know it's because of your alcohol induced state. I'm biting my lip, silently begging you not to do it as your hazy eyes travel around the room. They stop on me and for a brief moment my breathing hitches and I'm hoping you saunter across the room and plant a chaste kiss on my lips. But as soon as they stopped on me, they moved along to the guy closest to you.

Your lips crash against each others and you pull away quickly, slight regret in your eyes. I'm the only one that sees it.

A sob bursts from my chest, I can't hold it in any longer, and I run upstairs. Lady, Trish and Lucia in tow as I slam my door shut and curl up on my bed. They walk in quietly and the door shuts with a soft click. Lucia sits beside me, the other two on the opposite side of the bed, rubbing my back in an attempt to quell my sobs. "Nero," Lucia whispers quietly, laying her head on my spasming shoulder. "What's wrong?"

I couldn't hold it in any longer, I had to tell some one and you were not an option. My walls were down now and I bellowed out a tear jerking scream. "W-why couldn't it b-b-be me?" I balled out, hands covering my face as the girls spoke to each other in soft whispers before a light clicked on over their heads.

"It's Dante, isn't it?" Trish and Lucia switched places and the red head's slender fingers were now attempting to work tension from my neck and shoulders. "You want Dante…Oh Nero, I'm so sorry." Trish whispered into my hair and kissed my head as more silent sobs racked my body. "What can we do for you?"

I managed to hold back my tears, but for only a moment to speak. "Go back down stairs and have fun…" I sniffled, feeling a knot tighten in my throat. I wouldn't be able to stay coherent for much longer. "There's nothing you can do." I felt them leave, though some what reluctantly, and shut the door seeming to argue in the hall way. As soon as they were out of my room, I let out a loud cry. "God-d-damn you, Dante!" I knew you couldn't hear me over the roar of music.

Reaching between the mattresses, I pulled out a picture. It was of us on a vacation with the girls. Your arm was around my neck, clutching me closely to your naked side as we grinned at the camera on the beach. My own arm was wrapped tightly around your waist; I knew I loved you even then.

I wish I could tell you…

I stared at the picture until the music died from my ears and I fell into a nightmare-ish sleep.

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The past few weeks were easy enough, we went on separate missions and I didn't have to see you at all for hours on end though during that time I worried about you.

I was sitting on the red leather couch, polishing Red Queen and Blue Rose when you sauntered in. I averted my eyes when I noticed you were carrying the belted shirt, leaving the red leather jacket open to expose your bare chest. "You're early," I commented lightly though I felt there was a sharp, brittle edge in my voice. I wondered briefly if you noticed it.

"Yep, weren't as many demons as they made it sound." I saw you smile from the corner of my eye and I paused a moment. "Some of the town's women wanted to 'repay' me, if you catch my drift." You put a hand on my shoulder and squeezed lightly before departing upstairs for a shower. I glared into the demon blade and rubbed harder with the soft cloth.

You came back minutes later, water droplets falling down your bare chest as you tossed a towel through your wet hair. My concentration fell, and my hand slipped from the broad handle to the sharp blade. "Ah! Fuck…" I growled as blood soaked the very blade I had been cleaning.

"Jesus kid, preoccupied much?" You walked over and wrapped your damp towel around my hand, the red soaking into the black of the soft terry cloth. I froze at the feeling of your rough, calloused hands on my heated flesh. I felt my skin tighten when the wound began to heal and you pulled the towel away, sitting down beside me with your hand on my shoulder. "Be honest with me Nero," Your eyes bore into mine, heart rate kicking up a few hundred notches. "I know something is wrong. You've been avoiding me lately and I've tried to brush it off but I…" You trail off now, struggling to find the right words I suppose. "I'm worried about you." Your words were soft, and hurt more than if I had been kicked in the groin.

I don't want you to worry about me, because if I decide to leave, if my pain gets to be too much, you will be hurt. I shake my head, mouth a tight line. "Don't be. It's my problem and I'll handle it myself." I tried to stand up, about to leave when you grab my wrist and pull me into a tight hug.

"I'm not letting you go until you tell me what's going on, Nero." Your words were muffled against the hood of my jacket; my arms were limp against my sides.

"Then you will be here for a long time. It's not your concern-" You pulled away quickly, but your hands were clamped around my upper arms.

"Not my concern?! How is it not my concern if it affects you?" You were panting angrily now.

I held back tears, determined not to be weak in front of you. You, always so strong…

Oh god, how I want you to know…

"Because nothing I say to you will change what's happening." I felt your hands slacken a bit in saddened shock, they were still lightly holding on to me, and I pushed them off. You stood, staring at me as if I had bitten off your ear as I trudged up stairs. You didn't follow me.

I locked the bathroom door and turned the shower on, letting my clothes fall to the floor. No one would be able to hear my sobs over the fall of water as I sat in the tub and cried to my self.

_I can never tell you._

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An hour later, I was sopping wet and shivering from the cold water. I stepped out, pulling on my clothes with out drying myself and walk straight across the hall to my room. She surprised me, sitting in the middle of my bed and flicking through a book I had on my nightstand: _"Wuthering Heights"_

"I didn't know you were into the classics." She said tightly, putting it back and staring into my damp face. "Come, sit." She patted the space beside her on the bed, putting her slender arm around my shoulders.

"Trish," I said quietly, listening intently for you somewhere in the house. Not a sound was made. "What are you doing here, in my room, on my bed, reading my depressing book?" I glanced up at her feeling as though all of my emotional energy had been drained out in these last few months.

"Dante called me." My head snapped up to meet her eyes.

"He what?"

She nodded and put a hand on the side of my head, pushing it down to rest on her shoulder. I was grateful for her. "He's really worried about you. He says you're pushing him away and becoming distant." She then tilts my chin up and I look into her eyes. "If this hurts you so much, why do you stay?"

I furrowed my eyebrows and pulled away from her. "I love Dante, I could never leave him."

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Trish has come to comfort me many nights since then. With her assurance, I'm able to talk to you now and almost joke around like we used to…almost. There is still tightness in my smile and unspoken questions in your eyes. It's almost New Years now, and Lady is helping you plan a party that you don't want. Apparently the last one hadn't gone well after I went up stairs though you won't say why.

"I don't want it to end up like last time with a bunch of random people. Just…you know…my friends." You glance up as Lady giggles and shrugs.

"Fine, there will be a limited number of people and everyone will know everyone else." She smiles and leaves, letting the heavy door fall shut behind her. There was an awkward silence now between us as you sigh and sit down.

"What happened last time?" I ask, perching on the edge of your desk and tossing an apple in the air with my bringer.

I feel your eyes on me, I can't bring myself to look back at you as you grunt. "Nothing." You stand and start towards the kitchen, but my human hand reaches out and grabs your wrist and I tug you back.

"Seriously Dante, what happened? Or have you forgotten due to your Alzheimer's?" You smile, but it's strained and forced. My face becomes serious now. "Talk to me, something is bothering you."

You glare at me and try to pull away, but I won't let you go. "Why the fuck should I talk to you when you don't talk to me, hn?" I swallow hard as you stare at me, knowing that you're right. My hand loosens; you walk away from me and in to the kitchen.

"_Shimata…" _I curse under my ragged breath and throw the apple away. Our relationship is becoming strained, and sooner or later one of us will snap.

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New Years Eve, and you are throwing a small party consisting of Lucia, Lady, Trish and about three of our wealthy clients. Lucia gave up searching for Matier for months, choosing to stay with Lady and Trish. I think Lucia and Trish have a secret relationship, but I don't say anything. Everyone stood in front of the large TV holding a glass and counting down.

I'm not expecting a kiss, who would it come from? Two of the clients stand together, Lady with the third, Lucia and Trish (unsurprisingly) and staring at each other like goons. You turn to me, a slight blush on your cheeks as you wet your lips. "Will you be my New Year's kiss?" I stop breathing; this is killing me.

You'll never know.

I grin like a buffoon and give you a playful punch to the gut. "You start batting for the other team?" I tease and you look away to the TV. There are 30 seconds left before midnight and I'm dying inside.

I'll never tell you.

Come to think of it, I've never actually seen you bring a woman home. You flirt with them and dance with them, but have you ever had a relationship with one? I don't recall-

"To tell you the truth, Nero…" Your eyes come back up and the blush is more severe now. "I've never really had a thing for the opposite sex."

Ten seconds now, my brain is reeling and my heart is spasming. "Are you serious?" My eyes widen, do I have a chance with you?

No.

You'll never know… will you?

"Yes…" You sigh, dropping your empty glass onto the couch as the rest of the room counts down from five. My hands shake, you grip them and I drop my beer. I have no idea what's going on now, but I know that I'm about to kiss you, and you're not drunk or being dared to do it.

One of your calloused hands runs up my arm and cups my face; your other hand has slipped its thumb through the belt loop in my jeans.

Maybe I _can_ tell you…

I am not in control of my own hands. They slide up your sides and into your thick, silvery hair…so much like my own, but surprisingly soft. People began to cheer around us, and our lips finally met.

You're tentative at first, but my lips quickly mold to yours and you become aggressive. I feel your sweet tongue tap my bottom lip, begging for entrance that I grant graciously. You taste like strawberry syrup. How expected and lovely at the same time.

Your teeth tug on my lip, nibbling at it gently and I let out a sigh as my hands tighten in your hair and I pull you closer. I feel warm, your arms wrap around my waist and I can feel your hard body molding to mine.

There are awkward coughs around us now, people leaving the shop, and you pull away just enough to speak. Your lips brush against me as you talk, a barely audible whisper that only I can hear.

"I love you." You sigh it and open your eyes, I can't believe it.

Yes, you will know.

"Dante…" I feel tears of relief fall down my cheeks and your hand come up to gently wipe them away. "I've loved you since I first tried to kill you." You smile brilliantly at me and we kiss again.

"C'mon kid, let's talk." You put an arm around me and we walk up stairs. With your three simple words, the world has been lifted from my shoulders.

We're in your room now, curled up on the bed and I settle into your embrace. You are wrapped around me, my back pressed to your chest and I feel that you are the missing puzzle in my life. Everything is right now, and all the months I cried my self to sleep could have been avoided; if only I knew…

I told you.

"I love you very much, Nero." I hear hesitation in your voice, but I squeeze your hand gently and you sigh into the back of my hair. It tickles, and I smile. "Will you…be mine?" It's quiet for a minute and I turn around, your arms around my waist, mine around your neck as my fingers thread through your hair.

My smile grows wider. "I don't want to be anyone else's." I plant a firm kiss on your warm, soft lips and pull away to speak. "I love you Dante."

Now you know.

_**-End-**_

**That is that. What did you guys think? My stories are usually much bubblier and fun, but I have been in a horrible depression lately. I don't know why, but I needed to let out my love loss in words. This made me feel better, and at least it ended on a happy note, right? Okay, I'll see you guys next time, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW THIS!!!**


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